VOL. 1, NO. 1
TWO PENCE
LONDON • WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2025
EDITORIAL NOTICE: This is a satirical website. News are extracted from online sources and rethemed as a 1950s style news. Company names are used for satirical purposes only. No affiliation with any mentioned companies.
In this modern age of electronic brains and calculating machines, "cookies" are small text files that our electronic newspaper places on your device to remember your preferences and improve your reading experience. Think of them as digital bookmarks that help us serve you better.
These electronic morsels are no more sinister than the notes a librarian might make to remember which books you prefer, though we understand they may seem mysterious to those unfamiliar with the workings of modern computing.
Our electronic newspaper employs several varieties of cookies, each serving a specific purpose in enhancing your reading experience and helping us understand which articles most interest our readership.
These cookies are absolutely necessary for our website to function properly. They enable basic functions like page navigation, access to secure areas, and the display of our satirical content. Without these cookies, our electronic newspaper would be as useless as a printing press without ink.
These cookies help us understand how visitors interact with our website by collecting and reporting information anonymously. They tell us which articles are most popular, how long readers spend on each page, and which sections of our electronic newspaper are most frequently visited.
These cookies enable our website to remember choices you make (such as your preferred font size or reading mode) and provide enhanced, more personal features. They may also be used to provide services you have requested, such as subscribing to our electronic newsletter.
Some cookies on our website are set by third-party services that appear on our pages. These might include Google Fonts (for our typography), analytics services, or other external providers that help us deliver our content.
| Cookie Name | Purpose | Duration | Type |
|---|---|---|---|
| _ga | Analytics - distinguishes users | 2 years | Third-party |
| _gid | Analytics - distinguishes users | 24 hours | Third-party |
| cookie_consent | Remembers your cookie preferences | 1 year | Essential |
| reading_preferences | Stores your reading settings | 30 days | Preference |
You can control and manage cookies in various ways. Most web browsers allow you to refuse cookies or delete them. However, if you choose to disable cookies, some features of our electronic newspaper may not function properly, much as a mechanical typewriter would be less efficient without its ribbon.
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This cookie policy was last updated on September 17, 2025. We may update this policy from time to time to reflect changes in our practices or for other operational, legal, or regulatory reasons.
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