THE SEMI OPENAI TIMES

LONDON • WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2025

TERMS OF SERVICE

— RULES FOR THE MODERN READER —

EDITORIAL NOTICE: This is a satirical website. News are extracted from online sources and rethemed as a 1950s style news. Company names are used for satirical purposes only. No affiliation with any mentioned companies.

ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS

By accessing and perusing our electronic newspaper, you agree to be bound by these terms of service, much as one would agree to the rules of a gentlemen's club or the bylaws of a learned society. These terms govern your use of our digital publication and all its associated services.

NATURE OF CONTENT

The Semi OpenAI Times is a satirical publication that extracts real news from online sources and rethemes them in the style of a 1950s British newspaper. All articles, headlines, and editorial content are presented as satirical commentary on current events, not as factual reporting.

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY

All content published in our electronic newspaper, including but not limited to articles, headlines, graphics, and design elements, is the intellectual property of The Semi OpenAI Times. You may read and enjoy our content, but you may not reproduce, distribute, or create derivative works without our express permission.

USER CONDUCT

As a reader of our publication, you agree to conduct yourself with the same decorum expected in a respectable reading room. You shall not use our website for any unlawful purpose, nor shall you attempt to interfere with its operation or security measures.

DISCLAIMERS

Our electronic newspaper is provided "as is" without warranty of any kind. We make no representations or warranties regarding the accuracy, completeness, or reliability of any content, though we do strive for the highest standards of satirical excellence.

IMPORTANT NOTICES

• This is a work of fiction and parody
• No real companies are being reported upon
• All names and events are fictional
• Not affiliated with any mentioned companies
• For entertainment purposes only

LIMITATION OF LIABILITY

To the fullest extent permitted by law, The Semi OpenAI Times shall not be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages arising from your use of our electronic publication. This includes, but is not limited to, any confusion caused by our satirical content.

THIRD-PARTY CONTENT

Our website may contain links to external websites or services. We do not control or endorse these third-party sites, and we are not responsible for their content, privacy policies, or practices. Proceed at your own discretion, as one would when following a reference in a library catalogue.

MODIFICATIONS

We reserve the right to modify these terms at any time, just as a newspaper might update its editorial policies. Any changes will be posted on this page with the date of the most recent revision. Your continued use of our website constitutes acceptance of any modifications.

GOVERNING LAW

These terms shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of England and Wales. Any disputes arising from these terms or your use of our website shall be subject to the exclusive jurisdiction of the courts of England and Wales.

ADDITIONAL PROVISIONS

PROHIBITED USES

You may not use our website to transmit or procure the sending of any unsolicited or unauthorized advertising or promotional material, or any other form of similar solicitation. This includes, but is not limited to, spam, junk mail, or chain letters.

TERMINATION

We may terminate or suspend your access to our website immediately, without prior notice or liability, for any reason whatsoever, including without limitation if you breach these terms. Upon termination, your right to use the website will cease immediately.

CONTACT THE EDITOR

If you have any questions about these terms of service, please contact us.

These terms of service were last updated on September 17, 2025. By using our electronic newspaper, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agree to be bound by these terms.